By definition, Pain is physical suffering or distress, as due to injury; emotional suffering or mental distress. Things that are also attributed to pain are grief, anxiety, or emotional disorder.
A direct result of brokenness is pain. This pain can be mental, physical, spiritual or emotional. Whatever the case, it has to be addressed. A wise man once told me that “Hurt people, hurt people.” What that means is, a person who is hurt will likely cause hurt to someone else. Why? Because, in most cases that is how they feel it should be. This is why it’s important to address it and deal with it. I’m not going to lie, dealing with pain is probably one of the most challenging things to deal with while being broken. It’s difficult because in our minds all we can think about is how we were wronged, and who or what caused the pain. We tend to rehearse the things that occurred, and it seemingly inflicts that pain all over again. It’s a vicious cycle. We don’t want to let it go because, we never got justice or an apology for what happened to us. The pain can be 20 years old and we continue to live in it as though it happened yesterday. We don’t realize we have at this point allowed that pain to keep us captive in a broken state. At some point we have to break free.
We have to face it so we can be freed from it. Will it happen overnight? Listen, God is a miracle worker and I believe it can, BUT understand that some things just take time.
It takes a lot to deal with pain, especially if it is the kind that has altered your life in any kind of way. Because of the things that have happened to us we tend to feel like we are entitled to feel the way we do. On the b
ack end we don’t see that we are hindering ourselves by dwelling in those feelings.
There are different types and degrees of pain. Some pain is legitimate, Some is self-inflicting, some is minor (at least on the outside looking in), and then there’s the deeply rooted pain that in some cases is back dated to as far as childhood. Regardless of the degree of the pain, it ALL has to be dealt with in order for you to be healed.
How Do I Do That?
1. You Have To Forgive
I know it’s a hard thing to do. Touch ya neighbor and say “neighbor you’ve got to forgive!” (I felt like preaching LOL). I know it seems unfair, especially when you were the one that was wronged. Trust me I understand, but you have to be ok with the fact that you may never receive an apology. Yes, you have to forgive EVERYBODY. What forgiveness does is releases the power or control that the situation has in and over your life. Forgiveness allows you to rid yourself of the emotions and energy that you constantly contribute toward the thing or person(s) that cause you the pain. Forgiveness gives you to freedom to love past the pain. Forgiveness rids you of the weight you carry because of the pain. Forgiveness is the main ingredient in the process to be healed from the pain. If you didn’t know, let me be the first to tell you harboring unforgiveness will cause you more harm than good. You will find yourself sick, angry, depressed and so many other things. It may take some time, but you have to take the steps to forgive.
2. You have got to be willing to release the hurt.
It may be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you have got to LET IT GO. Let’s get this understood. Letting it go, doesn’t make you weak by any stretch. It doesn’t make you powerless, and it definitely doesn’t mean that you are defeated. It simply means you chose victory! You chose freedom! You chose to get victory over the thing that has had you bound in brokenness for so long. Let me ask you a question. Why are you holding on to it? (give it some thought) If you don’t like the way something makes you feel, why not let it go? Know this, when you choose to let it go, the pain no longer has power over you.
3. Quiet your emotions.
Allowing your emotions to run wild will put you back into a place of unforgivness and cause you to go back and pick up the hurt you just released. It’s so easy to lose control of your emotions when you have been hurt. You can be sitting and watching something on TV and it triggers something that happened in your life. All of a sudden here you are… “They were wrong! I didn’t deserve this! How could they do this me!” Now you are back at square one. During this process of dealing with your pain, pray that God will give you peace. Don’t sit and allow your thoughts and emotions get the best of you. The (message) bible says in
Philippians 4:8-9 “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse….. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”
Bishop Cardell Booker taught me a long time ago “You can’t control what comes into your mind but you can control how long you think it. When dealing with the pain, you’ve got to keep your mind in a place of peace. Do what you have to do, even if it means changing your surroundings, or daily routine. This will also allow you to be able to hear God clearly and heal properly.
4. Move Forward
After you have forgiven and released the pain, move forward. Don’t look back. Will you remember? Absolutely you will, but don’t allow yourself to go back and dwell in that place. When I was a kid I was always getting bruises and cuts. My mom would put some Neosporin on it and a band-aid and I was as good as new. Over time my sore would scab over. I had a habit of picking at the scab because I didn’t like the way it looked or felt. It never failed, my sore would start to bleed again. Had I just left it alone it wouldn’t have opened up and the healing would have been complete. That’s kind of what we do. We go back (for various reasons) and pick at past situations. As a result, we open up old wounds and end up having to go through the process again. When God frees you, keep moving forward. Don’t go back.
The thing about pain is that it affects our lives in different ways. I encourage you when it hits your life, get through it, push, be healed from it, but most of all learn from it and build on it. Remember Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” God has a purpose for your pain. I didn’t understand why God took me through all of the pain I went through, but I promise you I benefiting from it now.
As we walk through this journey to a whole life, consider all of the steps and take them one at a time. You’ll be whole before you know it.
Alright…. Let’s Keep Going..